Actively Listening to Your Child

"Too much love never spoils children. Children become spoiled when we substitute "presents" for "presence." Dr. Anthony Witham

One of the most difficult tasks of parenthood is communicating with your child, making them understand what you are trying to say and giving them a feeling that you also understand what they are saying to you.  To be responsible parents, bridging the communication gap between you and your child is of primary importance.  Remember to give importance to your child’s feelings, likes and dislikes, and communicate with them regularly and openly.

Instead of reacting right away to what your child says or feels, you have to be more patient with your child and respond to him after positively listening and trying to understand his point of view.  Make sure that your child has no apprehensions in sharing anything with you.

Never, never be too proud to say "I'm sorry", to your child when you've made a mistake.
Those who react negatively to their child’s viewpoint give an impression to the child that their thoughts are worthless.  However, those who respond positively not only allow the kid to be open with them but it also encourages the kids to share things going on in their mind, their point of view, and their feelings.  It also enables your kids to make a decision that they could not have taken without your assistance.  Kids really feel happy as you develop this bond and understanding with them.

At important times, you have to give proper attention to your kid no matter what you are busy with.  You should set everything aside and be all ears to your child, looking into their eyes.  Make the kid feel that you are interested in what he or she is saying and try giving a solution at the end. In cases where the concern isn’t really that urgent, at least take a brief moment to explain to your child that you cannot be bothered at the moment and that you get back to him or her as soon as you can.

Children desperately need to know - and to hear in ways they understand and remember - that they're loved and valued by mom and dad. - Paul Smally

At times, your kid could be in a bad mood, irritated or annoyed at something.  In such cases, it is recommended to listen to the kid carefully to understand why your kid is feeling this way.  Suggest some solution at the end of the conversation to make your child relax.  It is considered a bad move if you try to change the feelings of your child without discussing them.

It is highly recommended that we should always respond to our kids rather than react to them.  Kids also have a thinking process like we have and they have feelings that can be easily hurt.  By listening to your kid, you make them comfortable and relaxed, thereby creating a condition where it should make it easier for them to open up to you and share their feelings and thoughts.  This also reinforces to them that you really care for them, accord them respect and reassures them that you will always help and love them.

The Greatest Thing is Love

With every person that we care about
It's about being there when needed
You give because it makes you happy
Their happiness makes it much better

Our parents are there watching over us
We grow up before their mindful eyes
We're thankful for their good teachings
They're thankful for the connections

Friends are the best for shared interest
Laughing and running and playing full
Of course there can be disagreements
The importance is to work things out

Soon we find ourselves drawn hypnotic
To someone and share it all in romance
The hills and valleys of love and pain
But together we bring forth new beings

Then it's our turn be the caring parents
Understanding the role of adults past
Do our best to give the next generation
The wisdom shared with us back then

All our devotion and damage and dust
Transferring back and forth in events
Sometimes takes us from real meaning
So remember:  the greatest thing is love.


Ten thousand feet above the ground
And I am free from all, but sound.
Listening to the wind blow past
I know that freedom is fast.

Hurdling toward the earth
I feel this sensational birth.
Life has come anew,
Nowhere else is this so true.

I free-fall toward the land;
And in this time, life, I did befriend.
For now where else am I serene,
But in the vastness of the skyline scene.

Peering across a dream,
A mapped out land of seams
I have conquered this world
As towards it I am hurled.

2011 Moira G Gallaga©