Diplo-Parenting Tips: You Cannot Spoil a Child through Love

All parents are concerned about spoiling their children, but you can't spoil a child through love. Love is imperative so that a child knows they are wanted. Too much love is in fact impossible. A child needs adults to play with, to teach them, and to offer protection.

A parent's responsibility is to give a child love, a secure environment and encouragement. A child will not succeed at everything they attempt. Listen to their problems, and try to understand what they are going through. Talk openly with them when they have setbacks and disappointments. Children have to learn how to handle failure and frustration.

If you bungle raising your children,
I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much. - Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

However, always keep in mind that showing love to your children isn't the same as letting them do, or giving them what they want. It is important to set limits with your children.  Setting limits is actually very important, because it gives your child a sense of safety and security. Parents might at first be afraid to establish rules, because they risk upsetting their kids. But without rules to follow, kids do not have any guidance. They feel lost. Rules that go unenforced are almost as bad. The proper response to a broken rule is one that explains the rule, along with an appropriate punishment. Children need to know consequences for their actions. All children are not the same. Your approach may have to differ depending on how the child reacts to a rule. One teenager who comes home too late may be convinced that what he did was wrong because you stayed up late worrying about him. Another might not get the message until his curfew is severely reduced. What matters is setting definite boundaries, and giving good reasons for them.

Children should never be afraid to tell you anything. Treat them with love and respect, and they will do the same. Raising children is difficult, but also one of the most rewarding experiences you can ever have. Love your kids, and give them a safe home full of reasonable rules and expectations. It will set them on a path to turn into a good adult.

2011 Moira G Gallaga©

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer?

It's been said that Germans build such great products because they don't want to go around being nice while they fix them. Making jokes about Germans is allowed now: Germans are the new Poles ever since the Poles got IT and hard currency. If they won a tennis tournament, they would be considered Europeans.

Anyway, I have some close German friends so I guess I am allowed to tell stories about Germans. I always enjoy trips to visit them, since the four hours and 26 minutes we plan ahead of time to spend together for the visit is great. Last time I was in Bremen, we had just left a biergarten and were waiting to cross the street. It was the middle of the night, there was no traffic in either direction, but the crosswalk signal had not changed. I stepped out to cross against the light, and my friend hissed "Nein! In Germany, we do not cross against the signal!" Chastened, I stepped back onto the sidewalk. However, my friend went on to cross the street adding "But, in Germany... we finish what we started."

I came back to Germany for this particular friend's wedding, and the best part was the salute by the his- and hers- football teams. It was like some kind of European fantasy: as they exited the marriage hall, his team stood in full uniform on the right and hers on the left and the bride and groom ran down the row, yelling football cheers.

We went back to her parents' house for refreshments and she advised me to get a drink from the beer refrigerator. Her family home had a separate appliance- simply for chilling beer. Now that's a piece of furnishing I can get behind. 

The low point of the wedding for me was trying to find the hotel I was staying at after the reception. Austere to the point of invisible, my dormitory-like accommodations were impossible to identify from the front of the building. I had made a point of writing down the address, only to find that 523 "Einbahnstraße" actually meant "one way street." 

The title of this post, by the way, is the opening to Monty Python's funniest joke in the world. It is rendered 60,000 times more potent in German, which is why I cannot finish it here.

2011 Moira G Gallaga ©

Give Yourself the Life You Want

So often we do not give ourselves the life we want. We stifle our creativity, we hold back on loving and on being loved. We allow ourselves to feel bad and sad, and have trouble letting ourselves be happy. We have such a hard time letting someone love us. Why do we think we deserve the bad things that happen but not the good? Are we conditioned to think it is wrong to be happy, to be joyful? We can change our way of thinking, it's not easy, but it can be done. Write down the thoughts that will do you good, write them where you will see them often. On your bathroom mirror, post it on your desk, on your refrigerator and anywhere else you will see them often. Change your life one thought at a time. Say your mantra out loud and believe each one.

I am lovable and deserve to be loved.

I am loved and can love others.

I am sexy and am not afraid to let others see that.

I am fun to be with.

I am boring when I don’t like the person I’m with.

I am interesting.

I deserve happiness.

I have made mistakes and that is Okay, I can let them go.

I can cut poisonous people out of my life.

No one can make me feel guilty.

I can succeed, I will succeed and I succeeded.

I will look for joy in each day.

I will have the relationship that I want, I will not settle for less.

Your list may be similar or totally different. Make your list reflect what is important to you and what you need help with. Do not give up; keep repeating your phrases and they will eventually sink in. You will begin attracting what you ask for. 

2011 Moira G Gallaga ©